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  • Writer's picturejkmaniaci

I want to remember

While in the midst of quarantine 2020, one of my closest people asked, “Do you ever wake up and hope this is over?” And my answer was a resounding YES! I have had to pinch myself and say are we really still here? There are times it almost feels like we are in a poorly written movie script and we can’t find the last page to end the horror or when we wake up from a nightmare, hoping it is over, but when we try to go back to sleep the nightmare starts again right where it left off.

Yes, I wish this was over, but I do not want it to be over until I have learned what I need to learn in this season. In this history making season, that will be talked about for generations to come, I want to be able to say about my experience, that I saw God clearly in the most unbelievable ways. I don’t want to waste a minute of this “down time”. I want this season to always “hurt” just a tad, just enough to remind me of the feelings of uncertainty, hurt, unknowns and heartbreak, so I can always remember what He did. I want to remember the times that my only response was to run to Him, to pray, to quote scripture, and that it shouldn’t take the worst of times to bring me to my knees, but should be a posture I continually live in. That no matter what I face in the future, I will clearly remember this time and that He was faithful in SO MANY WAYS!! That no matter the next painful season thrown at me, I CAN be reminded of this season and Trust Him in EVERYTHING!!

I want to remember the peace that out-ran my understanding during these chaotic times

I want to remember what it felt like to experience “Be still and know that I am God”

I want to remember the posture of prayer I chose first, because there was nowhere else to turn

I want to remember how scripture was Alive to me during this season.

I want to remember listening to worship songs and actually hearing and believing the lyrics as opposed to just singing the songs

I want to remember how important my people are, how we are never promised tomorrow and how every moment with them is special.

I want to remember to appreciate the freedom we have to go and do whatever we want, whenever we want

I want to remember how incredibly blessed I am, with all that I need, and so much more

I want to remember that faith in God requires faith in His timing

I want to remember how people came together to love each other and support each other

I want to remember to appreciate all the people that quietly do their job without any pomp and circumstance, to keep us fed, protected, ready to serve at a moment’s notice.

I want to remember that sound of a bird chirping outside my window, the beauty of a sunset, the sound of kids playing, things that have always been there but I have been too busy to appreciate

I want to remember that meeting together for church is a privilege not a right

I want to remember how to be creative in sharing His love and that to be the Church, we don’t need to be in a church

I want to remember that no matter what happens to us, it is not a surprise to our all-loving Father and that He has us in the palm of His hands

So, yes, I want this time to be over, but I also want to remember all He wanted me to learn to change me for the better.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

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